I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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