We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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