You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
