That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
