Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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