Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
this will be a night to untag.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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