She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
