Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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