like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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