I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Fuck appropriateness.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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