He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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