my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
