Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
