If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my shit smells like andre
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
