Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
