I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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