hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
