So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
