I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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