cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
