I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Randomize
