I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
