i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
