They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
