I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
