oh god the rape fog is back!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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