I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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