Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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