apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
