i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
