You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
