3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
