My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
