Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
