If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
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