plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize