he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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