That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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