Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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