Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
