Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize