oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We had sex on a dog bed..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
