One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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