i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He shit in the fireplace
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