i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
