...so i touched it.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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