I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
