she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
