turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
