I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
