I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
