would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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