So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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