He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My vagina is very pro this idea
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize