Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
