enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize