This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
