I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
