I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
