if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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