She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
