Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
