so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
