sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
