its not stalking. its research.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
