new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
