Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
