butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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