I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
