My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
