tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize