you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
