Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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