The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
