i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
