I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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