I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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