Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
