Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
