Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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